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20 things I've learned I've learned in my 20's

Today is my 30th birthday. I've been around the sun 30 times and today marks the beginning of my 31st trip. I'm not a huge birthday person (though I love celebrating the birthdays of others) but 30 really crept on me and it's a milestone -- and the first that makes me feel "old". I'll admit, I did spend some time bummin' about feeling old but my 20's were really good to me. && these 30 rides around the sun have taught a me a lot.

So, I'm sharing 20 little life lessons I've learned on my way to 30. 

Share any thing you thing I need to know in this new decade in the comments, will ya? xx

1. Trust the experiences of those who live them and trust not your perceptions of those experiences. Until you've lived them, you're not the authority. I mean this so to generally respect the people around you but given the tragedies of this week I encourage you to keep this in mind as we discuss the oppression our brothers and sisters of color face everyday. 

2. Happiness is a moving target. A friend told me this as I struggled with my decision to move to DC and I've held it close to my heart ever since. What makes you happy changes and moves. Follow your heart to continue to pursue it,

3. Forgive and forget or forgive and don't forget but either way let it go. Let go of the hate, hurt, disappointment, whatever in your heart. It's toxic and will hurt you far more in the long run than the original misdeed.

4. You get what you get and you don't get upset. What you have is plenty and perfect. Let go of this grass is always greener idea.

5. Surround yourself with people that lift you up. There's no space or time in your life for people that don't help bring you higher.

6. Friendships evolve and change and friends come in and out of your life. It's okay for a friendship to sunset. It doesn't take away from the importance of the relationship or what that relationship has meant for your life.

7. If he's into you, he'll text you back. If he doesn't, he's just not that into you. It's really that simple.

8. Be your own biggest advocate. Don't wait for (or let!) anyone else be that person. This is important for both your personal and professional lives and is a lesson I recently learned first hand professionally. Its far more empowering and worthwhile to be your own advocate.

9. Threading is better than waxing.

10. Things happen when they're meant to happen. Everyone's life moves at a different pace and you can't compare yourself to someone else's timing.  Trust the universe's timing.

11. Say no to the people/places/things that don't add value to your life. Learning to say no is one of the most empowering lessons you can learn in your 20's. And it just feel so good.

12. Learn to listen. And then actually do it.

13. Love is awesome and its hard and its amazing and its tough work (then rinse and repeat). But its really, really worth it. And if it's not worth it, let it go ASAP.

14. Ask for help. It doesn't make you look weak or less than. It makes you look taller and wiser. 

15. (My) Mom is (almost) always right. I'm not sure I'm ready to put it in writing that she's always right. Perhaps, that's something I can work on in my 30's.

16. The universe has infinite pathways. Let this encourage and excite you. More importantly, don't ignore all of the doors open to stick to one path.

17. Because everyone is on their own pathway, live and let live.  Don't judge because someone's pathway is different than yours. March to the beat of your own drum and respect that everyone else marches to their own, too.

18. Make your bed everyday. It's really worth it to come to home to a kept space.

19. You're as strong as you say and believe you are. So believe you're a body builder on Muscle Beach :)

20.  Be kind. Seriously, just be a nice  f@%$ing person.


  1. I wish I knew all this at 30. Happy birthday dear niece. Life keeps getting better & better. Family and friendships are a gift. Love you.

  2. i think your Mom is riding around on a pink cloud ever since she read #15. Maybe she's one of the reasons you're as smart and compassionate as you are. Love Uncle J